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ATTACHMENT RESEARCH
Attachment studies have spoiled
the spoiling theory. Researchers Dr.'s Bell and
Ainsworth studied two sets of parents and their
children. Group A were attachment-parented babies.
These babies were securely attached, the products of
responsive parenting. Group B babies were parented in
a more restrained way, with a set schedule and given a
less intuitive and nurturing response to their cues.
All these babies were tracked for at least one year.
Which group do you think eventually turned out to be
the most independent? Group A, the securely attached
babies. Researchers who have studied the affects of
parenting styles on children's later outcome have
concluded, to put it simply, that the spoiling theory
is utter nonsense. Pick them up quickly and they'll
get down quickly. A child must go through a stage of
healthy dependence in order to later become securely
independent.
Spoiling does become an issue a
few years from now, when overindulgence signals a
parent's inability to set limits and boundaries. This
happens most often in children who are materially
bonded or whose parents are still trapped in
dysfunctional patterns from their own childhood. (For
more attachment research click on
4 Ways AP can Reduce the Risk of SIDS)
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This Dr Sears article reprinted from
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T131300.asp
on February 4, 2004 |
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